Drowning in Lupin – The Needle in the Haystack

For the past two weeks, my field partner and I have been looking for the needle in the haystack, the needle being the number of butterfly eggs and the sea of lupin the haystack. Meter by meter, plant by plant, leaf by leaf, we sorted through the infinite in search of the infinitesimal, a tiny, itty bitty white donut the size of a small freckle. It is amazing to consider the uncertain future of this little bugger, to think about all the obstacles it will face…the long leaf, the tall stalk, birds, wind, the frigid, bone soaking winter. This thing has a long, but oh so short life ahead.

Never has a plot so small, 30X30m, seemed so big! And never have I become so familiar with an environment. I had all the birds in the area mapped out in my head, meadowlarks, grasshopper, savannah, and song sparrows, pheasants, common yellowthroats, and redwing- blackbirds. Their territorial battles waged on unendingly, singing songs that set my mind at ease. However, underneath the warm Zen blanket of prairie nature, the cold reality crept in…I was trapped in my own head. And the thoughts came. What am I doing? What does this all matter? So what if I miss an egg? Wait, did I just see one? Hold up, did I already search this plant? No Egg…no egg…no egg…Oh! Egg! …this egg looks like a donut caked in powdered sugar…mmm…I am hungry…no egg…no egg…what am I doing…no egg…no egg…no egg…what time is it? How long could I possibly do this for? Will my efforts actually help this endangered species? What does this all matter? Is this worth my time?

I started to realize that I would have to be crazy not to ask these questions. I think that everyone should ask themselves these questions. What does this all matter? How do I want to spend my time…my life? I believe these are the very moments that help give us guidance.

I now know that I don’t want to monitor plants for the rest of my life. It can get repetitive and boring. However, I think most jobs are repetitive and boring anyway, and it’s okay to be a little bored sometimes. But I am lucky I get to be outside in such a beautiful surrounding and I am stoked to learn as many plants as my brain bucket will allow. Most importantly though, I believe in what I am doing. While I don’t think that it is the most important step to saving our environment, I know that it is an important step.

Random thought/question… Is it worth it to use herbicides, a known toxin, as tool for restoration when we don’t understand all of its negative impacts?

Also check out The Community Environmental Defense Fund and Thomas Linzey! I saw him speak this past week in Eugene. It was very inspiring! He is an environmental lawyer who gave up on environmental law because he realized that it doesn’t work. Now, he is fighting corporations’ political rights head on by drafting a “community bill of rights” for municipalities who have suffered negative health and environmental impacts (from fracking, mining, factory farming, etc.). This “bill of rights” is drafted to give communities and the environment rights over corporations.