Nobody ever said weeding was easy. Literally nobody has ever said this, because it would be crazy to say that. Weeding is the hardest thing that anybody anywhere has ever done since the start of time.

First of all, weeds generally grow pretty close to the ground. That means that you’re going to have to bend over to pull it. You may be thinking, “oh, that doesn’t sound so bad, I have to pick stuff up off the ground all the time”.  Bending over to pull a weed isn’t so bad the first time; Heck, even the second time isn’t so bad. By the 50th or 60th time though, you start to question what you did in your life to bring you to this point. How did all of your decisions lead you to this? What did you do to deserve this? But by the 200th or 300th plant, all the pain has washed away. You’ve entered a state of enlightenment. Where does the weed stop, where do I begin, aren’t we all everything anyways? This state of positivity lasts for maybe a hundred plants or so, then the aching back starts to worm its way into your consciousness.

Second of all, lots of weedy plants are either pokey, or like to grow near other plants that are pokey. And in my experience, pokey plants aren’t that much fun. On a related note, some weeds like to grow near the biggest bummer of a plant there is, poison oak.

Luckily for me, I’ve got help in my endless battle against invasive plants. I have been working with some high school aged kids to help remove invasives. Not only am I grateful for all the help, and the company (misery loving it and all that), but it has been a fascinating insight into youth culture. I’ve learned all sorts of interesting things. For example, if something is lit it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s on fire. It could just be fun and or good!

At the end of the day despite the sore backs, scratches, and rashes, it feels good to remove weeds. It feels good to know you’re making a positive impact on the ecosystem and the world. I’m not saying weeding is easy, but it is pretty lit.

Colin

BLM, West Eugene Wetlands