This past month, I went on my first backpacking trip! We went for 3 days and 2 nights into the Jefferson Wilderness to survey rare plants. I was really excited for this trip, and as we set out for our six mile hike in, I buckled up and trekked on to see some new, amazing sights.

All was going well on our trip. The hike wasn’t too steep and the burned forests were somewhat cool to see. However, upon the first hour of being in the cool and dry alpine air, I felt something come over me. My lips… they were… dry. I dug and dug through my carefully packed bag, searching for a savior, but I soon realized that in the midst of my packing I focused too much on the layering and too little on the chapstick. I was left in shock as the realization came over me that, for the next three days, I would be stuck with chapped lips.

The next morning was brutal. I woke up with my lips more chapped than before. I could feel the crust forming. They stung and peeled. I licked my lips knowing that I was making it worse, but I didn’t have the self-control to resist the instant soothing that came from it. I picked at the dry skin, leaving behind a raw and bruised mess. As we began our work for the day, I hoped that it would keep me distracted from the horror I was facing. I lined up transects and poked my nose into some grasses. All was going well. The misery of my Sahara lips was replaced by the frustration of keying out flowerless plants. Then I received terrifying news. My boss said, “You guys can just sit for a second while I finish up this transect.” Slowly, my brain began to focus. It crept into my mind. I tried to resist, but I couldn’t. I had no power over these parasitic thoughts. Suddenly, the pain of my dried lips possessed me. I kept my composure, but on the inside, I was screaming at the pain. I felt like Bella Swan turning into a vampire, but instead of my life being sucked out by a demon child, it was being sucked out by my dry, chapped, ugly, crusty lips. I soldiered onwards. 

The rest of the day continued about the same. During my surveys, I was at ease with distractions, but as soon as we began hiking to another place, the pain crept its way to the forefront of my mind. I felt as if my lips were a great salt plain – dry and cracked with no end in sight. Later in the day, as I sipped on hot tea and ate my soupy, freeze-dried butternut dal bhat, I found brief solace. The hot liquid cured my irritation if only for a moment. That night, however, as I slept, my mind kept me awake with nightmares of an eternity of chapped lips. I felt like they would just fall off, and in that moment there was almost anything I would do for chapstick; I was desperate for relief, and yet, none came. I tried to soothe myself into sleep with daydreams of my precious Aquaphor tub, but the yearning only made it worse. I fell asleep to the howling of wind, the downpour of rain, and the burning of my lips.

Finally, relief was near. I woke up the next morning with fierce determination – it was time to go home. On our hike back, I raced back the six miles – hopping across streams and running down hills. My lips were drier than the twice-burned forests that I hiked through. I daydreamed about the Aquaphor awaiting me. We made it back to our truck in record time, but the drive back to the office was the longest 30 minutes of my life. Aquaphor was the only thing on my mind. I felt it calling to me. With every mile that we got closer to relief, my lips seemed to burn even more. The desiccation demon sensed that my moisturizing holy water was near. 

I raced to my apartment and looked in the mirror for the first time in three days only to reveal that my lips were blue and bruised. They peeled along the edges and were inflamed all around. I yanked open my bathroom cupboard and grabbed my tub of Aquaphor. As I slathered on the thick salvation, I could feel it radiate throughout my body. My lips soaked it up, and I was applying more and more every five minutes. I couldn’t get enough.

Finally, after a week, the peeling went away, and my lips returned to normal color. This scary story has a happy ending. I am happy to report that my lips are currently smooth and moisturized with no long-term damage in sight, and also the backpacking trip was really fun otherwise!

Thank you to the legend that is Jack Boyle for aiding me in transcribing the horrors I faced into beautiful descriptions!!!